However, there is one question many people both answer and ask every single day. It is a rather significant question, yet it is often over looked. Sometimes people don't even realize they ask this question it has become so common place. I am just a guilty as the next guy at this as well, although I work to try and make sure that I don't let this question slide. The question I've been talking about is "How are you?"
Every day people over use this question asking to those passing by, having no real time to listen to the answer let alone respond to it. On top of that the question now gets thrown around in IMs and texting so much that it has made it an even cheaper question. I see several problems with the way this question has been thrown around.
1. It causes shows no repect for the individual asking or answering the question. When people throw this question out the in passing it usually doesn't include a time to actually listen to the response they aren't just letting a person slip by they are showing no respect for that person. Often a response is so simple that even if we are listening it doesn't matter. The answer has shown no respect for the person asking. This lack of respect builds up so that as a soceity we are just so much less respectful to each other than we should be.
2. People can feel even worse if they were already feeling bad (or even if they were feeling good). We all have bad days. For some they seem to be more numerous than the good. Either way though the one thing that can usually pick a person up is being asked how they are doing. Yet with the way this question gets asked it is of no help to a down person. You get asked and as you answer they continue to walk away or even if they do stop to listen it is obvious they don't care or aren't truely listening. Talk about feeling bad. Even a good day can be ruined when this is done.
3. People have a greater tendency to lie and hide their feelings. Because of this trend in asking how someone is doing people often respond with a single word that doesn't allow for as much hurt if the person asking doesn't truely listen. We have all had conversations that go like this..."How are you?" "Fine" "That's good." "And you?" "Fine." "Good." And that's the end of the coversation. Really? That is what passes for a conversation today? Yep and I'll bet you have had a similar conversation in the past 24 hours. Worse than the cheap response is the fact that sometimes its a lie. Even when someone is truely asking people feel compelled to lie to protect themselves or worse it is just the first thing that comes out and they stick with it.
4. When Christians do this we really aren't promoting Christ's love. Let's face it none of think Jesus had a conversation like this.... "Peter how are you today?" "Honestly Rabbi it hasn't been...." "That's good, that's good. Andrew wat about you?" I mean I'll bet you loled right there just a little at even the thought that Jesus would do that. Yet aren't we Jesus to this world? Aren't we supposed to be act like Jesus? Then why would we throw this question around when we laugh at the thought of Jesus doing it. Show someone you love them and care. Ask how they are doing and mean it. Is it really gonna hurt you?
So these ae just the problems I see. You might be able to think of more. Really though I think the question to ask now is what can we do to fix this?
1. Only ask when you have time to listen.
2. Don't let a simple answer satisfy. Dig deeper.
3. Don't answer the question with just a simple answer.
4. Just show that you actually care.
If we work to do these four things maybe we can save this question and actually make it worth everyones time ask and answer "How are you?"
